Today I'm 24, nearly 1/4 of a century of time has passed in my lifetime. This entry is about the ten things that are the most important to me right now. It should be noted that though these ten thoughts are listed out now they are allowed to change, and perhaps that is the overlying theme. Change is necessary, inevitable, and often beautiful.So here's the score of things I am working on in my life.
1. Never stop making friends.This is a widely known cliche that everyone says is SO hard to do. But I think they take it the wrong way. It seems to me that people don't realize that making friends does not mean meet new people. When you make new friends think about all of the people you know, even the ones maybe you call your "friends" and consider if you are really friends with them or just acquaintances. So, instead of feeling as though you will never make NEW friends, make plans with a person you already know OF but don't really know.
2. Trust in kindness.This past winter I started to realize how closed off from the world I had become. My family raised me with, what some might consider to be, an unnecessarily strong sense of fear. I heard all kinds of scary, terrible stories of bad things happening to those who are good because the world is full of dark and terrible people. Well, I am here to say that it is not. Are there bad people, most definitely, but full of them the world is not. Here is my theory; if we trust in people, in humans, to be kind and helpful and understanding then we can approach them with the same goodness.Does that mean call up that axe murderer next door and invite him to your blade-sharpening PJ party? No, common sense is still kind of important. But have faith that other people are as kind as you are, or kinder.
3. Take care.This seems pretty easy but actually I fell off the wagon of "taking care" of my body. I forgot to listen to her, and to give her love and attention in order to understand what she deserves. So now I am back on track; making healthy meals, exercising regularly, reading almost every night, and filling up the days with things I am interested in. Don't forget on the other side to take care of those who need it in your life.Don't worry about whether or not it is fair to you, or consider the person to be in your debt, do it because you hope they would do it for you thus at the same time taking care of your conscience and esteem.
4. Admit you don't know. This one is a personal hurdle. I have an EXTREMELY difficult time admitting that I don't know something. It comes from a deep childhood fear when doing my homework. Looking down at the paper in front of me with not a clue to what is going on until someone says "Don't you know?"or worse, sitting in expectant silence.You have two choices, say "I don't know" and get an "Are you stupid?!" response or pretend to know but you just don't want to do it so the response is now "Stop being lazy." So of course the right choice is the latter, After all, it's better to be lazy than stupid right? Looking back I HATE this way of thinking, and I am the biggest offender I know of. We all know SO little about the little that we know as human beings how DARE someone comment on another being's intelligence.I am making it my daily work to begin saying "I don't know" more often and if someone doesn't inform me of whatever I don't know then I am going to find out. So it's not just admitting you don't know but having the drive to then try to learn about that thing.
5. Don't expect others to treat you the way you want or deserve to be treated; but treat them well anyways.I find that a LOT of people treat others how they want to be treated until they don't get "treated" or "thanked" enough. Stop doing things for the gratitude or recognition. If you want to be noticed as a good person or as someones equal you can do that by leading a life true to your standards. And even then if you don't get what you want realize that at least you can live with who you are and how you live your life. There are plenty of people out there who have everything they want except true contentment with themselves.Life isn't about being the better person, but treating others as better people.
6. Value your time. You have a limited time on this earth and it is whizzing past you constantly, so why waste your time doing things you don't like or doing things that make you feel bad. This is one of those lessons that my job this year has taught me. I've caught myself in the middle of class going into a kind of automatic mode while daydreaming about all the awesome things I could be doing, or that I want to be doing. I've realized that I shouldn't be daydreaming about these things but rather doing them!
7. Learn a skill. Lots of people nowadays just have their job, maybe a pet, or video game and perhaps a spouse. These are fun/important things(fun = video games<important) to keep life interesting and whatnot, but we have fallen into a pit of stodgy banality. Let's crawl out of the pit with a little zest!Learning a new skill could be a language, it could be drawing, it could be be anything self taught or taught by another person, but learn how to create something until you can pass it on to others so they can pass it on, and so on and so forth.
8. Be scared. I HATE being scared. It is one of the only feelings I try to avoid as often as possible, but I have come to realize that thanks to the feeling of fear I am able to understand what is important and what is passing through my life. An example would be when I first came to Korea. I wasn't scared for the first year I was here, but the minute I stepped on the plane to go home I was terrified. I thought "What if I can never come back? What if I never see these people again? What if after I come back it is different and I hate it? What if I never make it back because the plane falls straight out of the sky?" (Dramatic? Of course, but is there any other way?) But the beauty of the fear was that it told me that I wasn't ready to go yet, that I still had work to do and lessons to learn in Korea. So here I am scared again, that I won't make it to France, and now I know what I have to do.
9. Take the time to say "No" and don't give in. Another thing I am working on. I can say "NO" to myself with little to no problem, but when it comes to other people I need to learn to turn them down or make myself heard. Basically if someone asks me anything that I can answer yes or no my answer is almost always "yes". So what I need to work on is not giving a response immediately. I need to say "let me think about it" and if the answer is "no" then say it and don't let the other party sway my decision.
10. Take a hold of your youth. I am far too young physically and mentally for so many things. I could not raise a child or have a husband, own a house or take care of the lawn, I could barely even keep a potted plant alive and prospering at this point in my life. So my goals are a bit different from some of the people I know (note: neither are good or bad goals, just different goals for different people). I want to travel and learn and cook and eat and meet new people, have my eyes opened even when they're shut tight, breathe in the different scents of the seasons and the places I live. I want to make sure that I never go to bed saying "today was just another day.", instead I want to feel that I made the most out of the time I was given. It's the right time to do things on a whim, sell everything I own and travel or stay home and cook a huge meal by myself and pack my fridge full of leftovers that will be lost in the back of the crisper until I move out, meet up with friends and do absolutely nothing but lay in the grass and listen to each other breathe, or have noisy games of frisbee and hide and seek, just appreciate every moment for what it is. I know that if I do this, when I am old, I will look back and say I have lived every moment exactly how I wanted to.
That's the end of my "let's grow old and happy" list. I'm sure it will change and there will be a whole new ten next year. Who knows maybe I'll even do a complete 360 from this year. Much love from Korea.
-Sara
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